What Do You Want From a Relationship, (and How Will it Make a Difference?)

We set goals for ourselves at times and never consider the outcome of achieving those goals. Some goals become so important that we spend an entire lifetime achieving them, and in the end, what have we really achieved? Therefore, it is important to ask this fundamental question when we achieve our goal: "How has this changed me?"

Did accomplishing your goal make you feel good, or more secure? Perhaps achieving the goal freed you from some kind of servitude or mundane existence that prohibited you from doing what you would really love to do. But are you really freer when you, for example, find Mr. or Ms. Right, finally retire from that job you have put up with all these years, or finished your novel, or painted your masterpiece? Has anything inside of you changed?

If it hasn't, except for that very brief whiff of fresh air when your goal is accomplished, then your passing freedom will be reduced to servitude once more, as your mind falls into predictable habits formed over a lifetime. There will be the next relationship, job, or book, or painting, and your new pursuit will without doubt become a prison no different from that which you have struggled so long and hard to escape. This is because you haven't made a fundamental change in the way your mind works, and your mind works out of fear, fear of the way things are. We can never be satisfied.

This is the mind's habit, protecting you from this moment where we live, and it can't change its habits by accomplishing goals; it can only change its habits by a complete and utter shake-up. Without this restructuring, all goals will be followed by more goals, endlessly, because the mind will never find its solace in accomplishing. Only when accomplishing ends, and the mind becomes stilled and all accepting, is there the possibility of a reformation of the mind.

This reformation can happen as the result of a serious accident, a severe illness, or unconditional love where your are mysteriously transformed, and where all of your old patterns and values suddenly become refined simply because the mind lost control for a moment. For a moment, you were just there with reality, nothing more, and that transitory experience changed you forever. It's not something you planned, or expected, life just took over for a second, and now you find yourself almost on a different planet.

Then you might wonder what on earth you were thinking in your old life, and how you can now see, and before you were blind – and all because of an accident of some kind. But what if we could make this fundamental change in our minds that would free us without an accident or illness or sometimes fleeting relationship? What if we could have the insight and awareness of a star child, or of an indigo child, or of an enlightened sage? How do they think? How do they reason and interact with the many circumstances of life? What if there were ways to attain, for ourselves, this new consciousness and awareness without the bother of an accident, illness, tenuous relationship, or without the trouble of dying and being reborn again?

But how?